If there was no New Orleans, America would be a bunch of people dying of boredom.–Chris Rose
New Orleans has always been a special place for my wife and me. We both have (distant) family there. We both love the food. And we both love the nightlife and the revelry. So when we were planning our 25th Wedding Anniversary, our destination was a no-brainer. Crescent City, here we come!
After a few nights on Bourbon Street, we decided to head up to a more tranquil neighborhood on Magazine Street to visit an old college friend and his wife. It was the perfect evening to relax and reminisce in the comfort of a beautiful Southern veranda. Over the course of the conversation, my wife asked about interesting places to shop in the local area.
Uh oh.
I enjoy shopping as much as I enjoy getting sunburned. Especially when there are so many other interesting options. But once my wife gets that look in her eye, she is as hard to deter as The Terminator. Sure enough, our friends raved about a local activewear store with an exuberant manager who would give us the royal treatment. I could feel my wallet getting lighter.
After another glorious night, I begrudgingly agreed to the shopping excursion. Happy wife, happy life. But two minutes after stepping through the door of Tasc, even I was intrigued. The manager was vivacious and friendly and made us feel like old friends. She shared fascinating stories about New Orleans and made the entire experience downright enjoyable. When we finally headed to checkout, I was almost happy to swipe the credit card.
But just after paying, I noticed a bin of beer koozies to the left of the register. I always like to have a few extras for my golf bag.
“How much for the beer koozie?”
“For you, honey, that is F-R-Double-E! But we do have one rule around here.”
I must have looked dazed and confused. I just blankly stared at her.
“You can’t leave until that koozie has a beer in it!”
She immediately whisked behind the counter, opened the fridge, and pulled out a freezing cold beer.
It was 11:30 in the morning. I glanced over at my my wife. She shrugged. Well twist my rubber arm!
Seconds later, I was walking around the streets of New Orleans with a beer in my hand. And the huge smile on my face wasn’t just a by-product of the alcohol. We had met a truly authentic and entertaining person who was comfortable in her own skin and wasn’t afraid to share her enthusiasm. And in the process, she had turned a mundane experience into an enjoyable endeavor.
And couldn’t we all use a little more of that in our everyday lives.
Authenticity is the Key to Leadership
As business leaders, we can emulate other people. We can read manuals and attend workshops. But there is no substitute for bringing our authentic selves to the workplace. Rarely is a paint-by-numbers approach productive. Rarely can we fake our way to inspiration. True leadership needs to be genuine. That might expose our quirks, idiosyncrasies and shortcomings. It might turn some people off. But if we aren’t true to ourselves, how can we expect anyone else to follow? We have to be okay with who we are and what we bring to the table.
And the same is true in our personal lives. As parents, we have to trust our gut instincts and do the best we can with our children. Someone else’s approach may not be comfortable for us. And every child is different. As friends, we may not know the right thing to say in a tough situation. We can’t copy lines from a movie and hope they resonate. In tough times, we can’t shy away and say nothing. We have to bring our full selves to the situation. Even if that means looking foolish and exposing our flaws.
How Well Do We Know Ourselves?
So what does this have to do with resilience? In difficult times, we need to be able to reset and move forward. We need to be able to help others do the same. And we can’t fully move on or lend genuine advice unless we know our own baseline. What is our true personality? Who do we care about? What purpose or mission drives our actions? And once we understand this, we have to stay true to that purpose.
The experience with the manager in the store worked for us. We appreciated her quirkiness and unbridled enthusiasm. And after all, we were on vacation in New Orleans. Why not? But her same approach may not have resonated with someone who was more reserved. Or may not have gone over so well in New York City on a Tuesday. And that would have been okay. This was her authentic self. She was not afraid to wear her heart on her sleeve regardless of the outcome. And that is all we can ask for in any business or personal relationship.
We were put on this earth for a reason. We all have special skills and unique contributions to make to our corner of the world. We don’t have to go over the top or bounce off the walls to provide inspiration. Authenticity might entail staying on a straight path and being more low key. It might involve saying no to something that will take us down a bad path. Or it could involve making sure that koozie fulfills its true purpose.
As long as we are genuine to ourselves and others, we can’t lose.