For the past 12 years, my parents have escaped the brutal winter months of New England and sought refuge down in the temperate climate of New Smyrna Beach, FL.  It is a laid-back town full of beautiful vistas and interesting characters.  And last week, my wife and I had the pleasure of visiting to escape the January Blues.

As is custom, I took an early jog on the beach on the first morning, to clear my head and breathe in some of that salt air goodness.  There was a stronger-than-normal ocean breeze that morning, and the waves piled up one after another, stretching almost to the horizon.  As I watched them relentlessly roll in, my mind wandered to other things in our lives that can crash in without respite or reprieve.  Debt. Grief. Regret.  So much for my peaceful morning run!

But then a powerful memory crashed over me like a rogue wave.  Many years earlier, I had attended Confession, and the priest described how all would be forgiven:

“God’s love acts like the waves of the ocean.  It just keeps rolling over us and never stops.”

(Perfect!  Those impure thoughts of Farrah Fawcett should all be absolved!)

And there you have it.  Just as there are negative events that seem to never stop, there are many more positive events that are equally relentless.  It all depends on your perspective of the waves!

Catch a Wave

In difficult financial times, it seems the bills will never stop.  Debt piles up day after day and it feels like rock bottom keeps springing a trap door.  But the generosity of our inner circle is also overwhelming.  The forgiveness and hope provided by those who care about us also washes over us like a powerful wave of warmth.

We may lose a loved one and the pain can be overwhelming.  Our sorrow can consume us and the waves of negative emotion can feel like tsunamis.  There are no words.  But the positive memories of our loved ones also roll through like a calming force.  The endless support, concern, and strength provided by friends and family is equally relentless.  Appreciation eventually replaces the pain.  And the words return.

In times of regret, it seems our lost opportunities will haunt us forever.  Those waves in the rearview mirror keep catching up to us and capsizing our dreams.  But it is time to look forward!  There is an endless cascade of waves on the horizon.  And they all contain opportunities for joy and fulfillment.  The waves in the rearview have already crashed.  But the waves on the horizon are just about to crest!

Perspective in the Key

Resilience is not about “standing tall” in the face of a crashing wave.  It’s not about testing how much punishment we can take.  We will all get knocked down.  The water will overwhelm us and throw us around like a rag doll.  Sometimes, we just have to let ourselves go. 

But what happens when thrashed about the sand and surf?  Do we try to find the positives in the madness?  Do we appreciate those people who will do anything to throw us a lifeline?  Do we have the strength and perspective to see the positive waves of love and forgiveness?

Our resilience will be measured by our ability stretch our perspective beyond the current conditions.  It will not be easy.  But we have to look for the hope amidst the chaos.

Resilience is Relentless

My run on the beach could have gone down a rabbit hole.  But one positive memory changed my entire perspective.  And that is sometimes all we need to weather even the darkest storms.

The sun is shining.  The temperature is perfect.  There is no end to the comfort.  There is no end to the forgiveness.  There is no end to the glorious possibilities in front of us.   Soak it all in.  The breeze is kicking up relentless waves.  They will never stop.  And that is a good thing!