Thank You For Being a Friend

Welcome back to the Resilient Worker! Apologies for the delay but I have just returned from Indianapolis where I was celebrating Duke’s Fifth College Basketball National Championship!  Hello?  Did I just lose half my audience?  More than half?  Okay, fine, on to the important business at hand!

This week I want to revisit an important aspect of resiliency that we first discussed in early February: Friendship.  Maintaining a close circle of friends is perhaps the greatest gift you can earn and one of the best contributors to a resilient life.  In times of difficulty, we need someone to help us get back on a positive track.  Whether that is offering advice, delivering perspective, or simply listening with empathy, a true friend and mentor can make all the difference when we suffer an inevitable setback in our personal lives or career.  Difficult times bring out the best in a  friend and it is during those moments we most appreciate the support.  Human beings were not designed to go it alone.   Friends allow us to pick up the pieces and move on with resiliency.

A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out. -Walter Winchell

But resiliency is also about acknowledging and appreciating the finer moments in life.  When we earn a promotion, we want to share this news with someone who will truly be happy for us.  When our son or daughter wins an award, we want to share this with someone who will not be jealous or resentful.  When we want to celebrate a milestone, we want to be free to let loose without fear of judgment or scorn.  To that last point, I have certainly been no stranger to celebration in my day.  Before going out one celebratory evening, a close friend offered up what at the time seemed like a back-handed compliment:  “We are your friends.  And we already forgive you for any trouble you might get us into tonight!”  (Insert laughter here) As I have thought about that line over the years, I have come to realize the beauty and simplicity in that message.  That is someone who has your back no matter what the situation.  No judgment.  No quid pro quo.   Just friendship.  Having a close circle of friends, while critical in a moment of need, can also help you appreciate the many blessings in your life!

As we get older, there is a tendency to feel as though we already have enough friends.  I understand the sentiment, as the demands of our job, family, and community work become such a strain on our time. It is difficult to stay in touch with those who mean the most to us, much less make new friends.  There is nothing like an old, trusted friend and many people do not want to risk losing that relationship by adding in new ones.  But can you ever have too many people in your corner?  Can you ever have too many people helping you in moments of need?  Can you ever have too many people to celebrate a great moment in your life?  The beauty of an old friend is that you can pick back up with them after years of being apart, and it seems like time has stood still.  You never want to take them for granted (next week’s post!) but they will always be there for you.  So go out and forge new relationships.  You have so much to offer.  Share your talents with the world and see who appreciates your amazing gifts.    I am reminded of the old Winnie the Pooh song I used to sing to my kids when they were little:

Make new friends, but keep the old.  One is silver but the other is gold.

I will spare you the pain of singing it, but it is so true.  If you continue to build meaningful relationships while maintaining your close inner circle, you will be well on your way to a resilient life!  As for me, I want to acknowledge my loyal readers who have been with me from the beginning.  And I want to welcome my new readers who have just started with me on this journey.  Thank you for being a friend.

As usual, keep your comments and the discussion flowing.  Until next week, keep smiling!

Rob