We all have moments in our lives we wish we could go back and change. Perhaps a fork in the road not taken, a rash decision, or a life-changing event from the past still nibbles away at your soul. If only we had a time machine to travel back to that point and make a different decision or perform a different action. What an incredible impact that would have on our future! But this regret is perhaps the biggest obstacle to happiness and success and is a powerful enemy to resiliency. It can paralyze even the most optimistic person and eventually lead to bitterness and self-doubt. Even worse, regret can rob us of the present moment and cause us to live life in the rearview mirror. As we have discussed many times, this is not a winning formula for a meaningful life! If we want to stay resilient and move forward with our lives, we need to learn how to forget regret.
In my twenties and early thirties, I chased a number of business opportunities that I thought would set me on a path to financial independence. I worked hard, kept the faith, and persevered through some difficult times. While rewarding in other ways, none of those opportunities translated into major financial success. (Maybe writing a blog will be my next big thing!) However, at least one of the jobs I passed on turned out to be incredibly lucrative (for others!). I have spent way too much time regretting those outcomes. How could I turn down those opportunities? What would my life be like if I had made the “right” choices? If only I could jump in that aforementioned time machine and take another path. The reality is none of those thoughts are productive or helpful. And none would land me in the Resilient Worker Hall of Fame!
Don’t look back with regret but move forward with hope.
While regret will always play some role in our lives, there are ways to minimize the impact and move forward with resiliency. First, it is important to realize that the time machine cuts both ways. Yes, it would be nice to jump back and reverse certain decisions in our lives. But what would we be giving up? If I had taken another job, would I still have married my wife? Would I have four beautiful children? Would I have made the same type of friends as I did at the other companies I chose? I would not risk any of those to make a different decision. Furthermore, who is to say that the lucrative job would have worked for me, anyway? Once we understand and appreciate all the blessings we have in our current life, it is much easier to deal with the regret of a “wrong” decision from the past.
In addition, the effort we put into our present life makes regret much more tolerable. In my case, I still worked hard and gave everything I had on the opportunities that did not work out. When you believe in something and stay passionate, there is an overwhelming feeling that something good is bound to happen. That gives me great hope for the future. Success will eventually find those that work hard and keep a positive attitude.
But what if you have not been giving 100 percent? We all experience work fatigue, apathy or frustration at some point in our careers. What if we have settled into a comfortably numb career filled with regret over things that might have been? The good news is, it is never too late to move forward! That time machine isn’t coming (and if it did, would you really want it?) so rather than stew about the past, start creating your own future! Forget regret and feel the exhilaration and excitement of starting fresh. Success and fulfillment are right around the corner so stop looking back in the rearview mirror and start looking forward to your next great accomplishment. Your path to resiliency starts today!
Until next week, keep smiling!
Rob
Fresh is always good! Great insight.