Life is about perspective and how you view it over the long haul. Ultimately, you have to zoom out. — Tim McGraw

At some point, all of us lose someone close to us.  It is an unfortunate, and sometimes tragic, reality of life.  While we all feel young and invincible, the reality is that every day is a gift on this earth.  And we can’t take anything for granted.  This lesson hit home earlier this week with the passing of our friend Joe “Little  Louie” Rubino.

Joe was, quite possibly, the nicest and most decent guy you could ever meet.  There is no plausible explanation that could make sense of the situation.  A talented and dedicated member of the community.  An amazing wife and children.  Loving and supportive parents with a brother and sisters that were closer than ever.  The type of situation that just makes you shake your head and ask “why?”.  And as we gathered to celebrate his life, I was reminded of a seemingly insignificant story that happened years earlier.

A group of our high school friends have been playing fantasy football now for a couple of decades.  We give each other grief, trash talk, and take the competition WAY too seriously at times.  But it is all in good fun.  This one year in particular,  I was heading into the last week of the season in perfect position to capture that coveted fantasy football crown.

I was thirty points ahead of the next closest competitor, Joe, but made the not-so-smart decision to start Johnny Manziel, then of the Cleveland Browns, as my quarterback.  He had a dismal 1-point performance that drew ridicule from across the league.   But, even with that blunder, I was still in a comfortable lead heading into the final Sunday night game of the season.  But that night Joe started Antonio Brown, then of the Pittsburgh Steelers, who had a monster night, catching his second touchdown pass with 1 minute in the game to eclipse me by a single point.  The horror!  I was way more distraught than I ever should have been.  My tactical mistake had cost me a championship, and I feared it was a stupid decision I would regret for the rest of my life.

And so we found ourselves back at Joe’s house on the day of his funeral, with his son, three daughters, wife and close friends and family.  I remember Joe’s son, now 17 years old,  being particularly involved in his dad’s fantasy football drafts, and so I recounted the devastating night of losing to his dad on the slender shoulders of Johnny Football.  I was curious if he remembered it at all.

“Are you kidding me?  It was one of the the greatest nights of my life!”

He then directed me to his living room and asked me to sit in a big chair.

“My dad was sitting right where you are sitting.  I was sitting here.  When the Pittsburgh player caught that touchdown pass, we both jumped up and down and stormed through the house and went crazy.”

He was animated and nostalgic and absolutely caught up in the memory.  Then he paused and smiled.

“I was so happy with my dad that night!”

(I’m not crying,  You’re crying!)

And that’s when it hit me.  That “devastating” decision to start the wrong player in a fantasy football contest was actually the greatest blessing I could have ever imagined.  His priceless father-son memory put it all in perspective.  And isn’t funny how the “tragedies” of our past, sometimes turn into triumphs as time marches on.

Perspective is Our Friend

We can’t judge our failures in the immediate moment.  Life is not a point in time but rather a continuum with a series of ebbs and flows that we can only judge through the prism of perspective.  Perhaps that tragic loss hardened our resolve and allowed us to achieve so many future victories. Perhaps getting cut from the team opened the door to an entirely new sport we never could have imagined.  Perhaps getting fired gave us the freedom to finally pursue our true calling.  Perhaps suffering a messy breakup allowed us to be vulnerable and find our true partner.  We have to hang in there and keep the faith during those difficult times.  Things happen for a reason.  Sometimes our biggest setbacks in the moment turn out to be the best thing that ever happened to us.

It is never easy.  Looking beyond the present in difficult times takes practice and discipline.  But the key to resilience is recognizing that not every difficult moment is static in nature.  Sometimes, with the passage of time and enough perspective, those tragedies turn into amazing blessings.

And the vision of Joe jumping up and down and celebrating with his son is the blessing of a lifetime.

Rest in peace, Little Louie.