Is that a storm moving toward the Washington, DC area? Nope, just the radar picking up the blanket of cicadas descending on the suburbs like the 8th Plague. If you live in a 15-state eastern region of the United States right now, you also live billions of recently “hatched” cicadas. These flying insects are literally everywhere.
Having an outside party? They’ll dive-bomb the chili dip. Going out for a nice quiet walk? They’ll penetrate your noise-canceling headphones. Seeking some shade under a nice canopy of trees? Beware of the “rain droplets” falling from above. It is the Summer of the Cicada.
For the most part, the cicadas are harmless. They do not bite or sting, nor do they hover around your head like a swarm of gnats. But they are large, exceedingly clumsy, and effectively blind. Clearly, these bugs missed a few rungs on the evolutionary ladder. And they will inadvertently collide with you at the most inopportune times. Checking the mailbox. Watching an outside sporting event. Driving in the car with the windows down. Shooting hoops in the backyard.
Even though we intuitively know they are harmless, no one is immune from the sudden panic attack brought on by a cicada collision. And the prehistoric “growling” noise they make at impact only adds to the hysteria. Grown men let out high-pitched shrieks. Women flap their arms and dive under the tablecloths. The calmest of the calm become momentarily unhinged.
The reality is that we can rationalize a cicada collision ahead of time. We can tell ourselves to stay calm and take it in stride. We know these creatures cannot hurt us. But all logic goes out the window at the moment of impact.
And that is also true of many of the minor tragedies in our lives.
Let’s Give Ourselves a Break
We have no shortage of self-help advice in the marketplace. And, for the most part, we have become very educated on trying to stay calm and rational amidst the storm of our everyday lives. We tell ourselves to take the minor transgressions of life in stride. We strive to take emotion out of the equation. But that doesn’t always help us in the moment.
A relative will make an annoying comment that sends us off on a tirade. Our work will get overlooked by management and we will lash out in a meeting. Our child will suffer a minor setback and we will overreact and try to “correct” it. A neighbor will buy a new car and we will seethe with jealousy. We know better than to let these little things upset us. And yet we do it anyway. And that makes us feel even worse!
The harshest treatment is the judgement we thrust upon ourselves. We logically know not to let the turkeys get us down. We can’t let other people dictate our peace and happiness. So why can’t we stay calm? Why do we let the critics get under our skin? Why do we let emotion get the best of us?
Because we are not machines. We are not perfect. Logic and reason do not always dictate our reactions. We are creatures of emotion. And we cannot always expect to handle adversity with calm and class. Sometimes we will not live up to our own high expectations. And that is okay.
Beyond the Cicada
The key to resilience is forgiveness and improvement. We need to understand that other people will not always react well under pressure. They will not always be the best version of themselves. Empathy will go a long way toward diffusing our own negative reactions to their behavior. But more importantly, we need to look in the mirror and recognize the same for ourselves. We are far from perfect. Forgiveness starts from within. And we have to allow ourselves a few ungraceful moments.
The cicadas will come out of nowhere. They will growl and buzz and generally freak us out. We will flail and scream and overreact at times. We will not be proud of our immediate reaction and wish we had stayed calmer. But we will quickly recover. We will recognize they can actually do us no harm. And we will be more resilient for the next encounter.