modesty

The National Football League is in full swing in late October as teams fight their way into mid-season form.  As I reclined to watch for a few minutes on Sunday, I witnessed something all too common in sports these days.  The running back darted through the line for a respectable 11-yard gain.  He then went into hysterics; gesturing wildly to the crowd and pointing with both thumbs to the name on the back of his jersey (He Hate Me?).  I’m all for playing with passion and emotion in sports and in life.  But this was a simple first down.  In the first quarter of the game.  And his team was already behind by 14 points!  Take it easy, big fella!  Why not get excited for your teammates?  Why not point to the names of every player on your offensive line?  While this was an amusing display of narcissism, we all must resist the temptation to make it all about us in our work and personal lives!

In our professional life, we constantly strive to be at the top our game.  We engage in competition.  We measure our success.  We fight for our accomplishments.  And that is a good thing.  But we must realize that, when aspiring to be the best, it is not all about us.  The best salesperson has a team that helps with marketing and technical  resources.  The best lawyer has partners to assist with research and a myriad of intricate logistics.  The best students have teachers who provide guidance and encouragement.  The best athletes have a trainer, coach, and teammates who support his or her quest for greatness.  Taking pride in our work and dedicating ourselves to excellence is worthy of celebration.  But it is not all about us.   Recognizing that we cannot do it alone is the ultimate form of modesty.  And we need to bring that back into style!

The same is true in our personal lives.  Through the phenomena of social media, we now have the ability to trumpet our most significant (or most trivial!) accomplishments from the highest mountaintop. And even when we attempt to exercise humility, those “humblebrags” can often go astray (“Having a bad day.  Somebody spit out their gum on the red carpet and I just stepped on it!”)   We may have amazing children, but it takes a village of extended family, neighbors, and community to instill those values.  We may have earned enough to achieve security and wealth but we could not have done so without the support of our spouse or sacrifices from those closest to us.  We may have a booming social life, but it would not be possible without a strong network of close friends.  Make no mistake, we play a huge role in our own personal success.  But we cannot take all the credit.  If we are constantly beating our own chest, we risk alienating the very people who made our success possible.

The whale only gets harpooned when he spouts –Henry Lea Hillman

But what happens when we suffer a setback?   What happens when our success slips away?  This is the one time when it is okay to point at the name on the back of our jersey.  We must be accountable.  We must not blame others for our failure.  But if we are to stay resilient, we must recognize that  our inner circle of friends and family will always be there for us.  Just as we did not get to the top alone, we will not suffer at the bottom alone.  If we have employed a life of modesty and humility, we will always have support.  There is no defeat that is permanent.  There is no obstacle we cannot overcome.  It is not all about us.  And that is a good thing.

Spouting off our accomplishments is not modest.  Focusing on ourselves is not humble.  We must not give in to the societal pressures to shine the spotlight on ourselves.  Instead, we must be a shining ray of humility in this world.  Keep striving for greatness!  Keep stretching beyond our limits!  Climb every mountain!  But never forget that we cannot be successful and fulfilled without the support and guidance of others.   Let’s bring the lost art of modesty back to our community.  And let’s do it today!

Until next week, keep smiling.