One man gathers what another man spills. — The Grateful Dead
A bunch of my old friends gathered at a buddy’s beach house this weekend. There was golf. There was laughter. There was gambling. We stayed up too late, laughed too hard, and picked up conversations as if no time had passed since the last trip. Every now and then, we need a long weekend where nobody is trying to impress anybody. Glorious!
And it was a reminder that friendship, like a good backswing, requires maintenance and attention. We have to keep showing up. We have to keep investing time.
And while it was great to re-connect, the golf itself provided one of the most hilarious and impactful moments of the trip.
One buddy had recently taken a flyer on some bargain-basement golf driver that promised distance, forgiveness, and eternal happiness all for the low, low price of $19.99.
The results were less impressive. After battling this gimmick for eighteen holes, he walked off the final green, marched directly to the nearest trash can, and threw the driver away. No joke.
Not in the parking lot. Not when he got home. Not after sleeping on it. Immediately.
That may have been the strongest vote of no confidence I’ve ever seen. The club barely made it off the golf course alive. $19.99 down the drain!
And I still can’t decide what was funnier: watching a grown man throw away a driver after 18 holes or what happened next.
A few minutes later, another buddy happened to walk by the same trash can. He spotted the abandoned driver sticking out of the top. He stopped. He examined it. And then he did what can only be described as recreational dumpster diving.
He pulled the driver out of the trash. Wiped off some stale beer and a banana peel. And just like that, the club had a new owner!
The next morning, the new owner put the rescued driver into play. And absolutely crushed it. The gimmick suddenly transformed into a weapon of mass fairway destruction.
While the original owner had been spraying golf balls all over the Delmarva Peninsula, the new owner was launching missiles. By the end of the round, the formerly discarded driver looked less like garbage and more like a miracle.
The club simply wasn’t right for the first golfer. But it was perfect for the second.
And how often does that happen in our work and personal lives?
We Have to Play Our Own Game
We spend an incredible amount of energy comparing ourselves to other people. We see someone succeeding with a particular leadership style, career path, routine, or strategy and assume we should be doing exactly the same thing.
But there is no universal formula for success.
Some people thrive in big organizations. Others thrive in small companies. Some are natural salespeople. Others are builders, creators, analysts, teachers, or problem-solvers. Some people lead from the front of the room. Others quietly become indispensable behind the scenes. Just because we fail in one environment does not mean we cannot thrive in another!
The reality is that every successful person has to figure out how to play with their own clubs. Sometimes that means shopping for a shiny new toy. And sometimes that means wiping off the grip and turning trash into treasure!
The Right Environment
And the same thing applies in our personal lives.
We’ve all experienced friendships that faded, relationships that didn’t work out, or situations where we felt rejected, overlooked, or underappreciated. It’s easy in those moments to wonder whether something is wrong with us.
Maybe we’re too much of this. Not enough of that. Too loud. Too quiet. Too needy. Too independent. But sometimes the issue isn’t our value. It’s our fit. And everyone deserves the opportunity to find the right fit.
A relationship ending doesn’t mean we’re incapable of finding love. A friendship drifting apart doesn’t mean we’re unworthy of connection. Sometimes it simply means we’ve been trying to make something work that wasn’t designed for us in the first place.
Someone else may see tremendous value in exactly what another person overlooked. And that is a beautiful thing.
Pure Gold
Which brings me back to the driver. My buddy was absolutely right to throw it away. It wasn’t helping his game. Every swing was an adventure.
My other buddy was absolutely right to fish it out of the garbage. Somehow, against all odds, he turned that discarded Boom Boom into pure gold.
And that’s a great reminder for all of us. We can’t be afraid to let go of what isn’t working, and we can’t be afraid to pick up what others have discarded. Before we decide we’re broken, we need to make sure we’re playing with a set of clubs that suits our own unique and beautiful game.
Our next great opportunity may arrive at the bottom of someone else’s trash can.