A few days ago, I sat quietly listening as a good friend delivered the eulogy for his father. It was nothing short of extraordinary. Rather than simply recounting a remarkable life, he did something much more powerful. He handed everyone in the church six simple lessons his father had taught—not through speeches or social media posts, but through the way he lived every single day.
As I listened, I realized I wasn’t hearing a eulogy. I was hearing a blueprint.
Here are six lessons that deserve to live far beyond that church.
- Never Forget Where You Came From
Professionally, this lesson matters more than ever.
I’ve met executives who still remember who gave them their first opportunity. I’ve also met leaders who conveniently forget everyone who helped them climb. Guess which one people want to follow?
Personally, I think about marathon runners crossing the finish line. The medal is wonderful, but the real accomplishment happened months earlier during the lonely ten-mile runs in the rain when nobody was watching. Success should never erase our story. It should remind us of it. Let’s remember what got us there.
- Get in the Arena
One of Theodore Roosevelt’s greatest quotes became one of the guiding principles for a resilient life.
Professionally, every meaningful opportunity requires stepping into uncertainty. Launching anew business. Giving the presentation. Applying for the promotion. Writing the first book.
The critics in the cheap seats never grow. The people in the arena do.
Personally, every meaningful relationship requires vulnerability. Every worthwhile goal requires risk. Every unforgettable memory begins with someone saying, “Let’s give it a try.”
Comfort rarely changes our lives. The arena does.
- Do Your Homework
Doing our homework sets us apart in business and in life. We’ve all experienced the opposite. The salesperson who wings the presentation. The student who crams the night before. The manager who walks into a meeting without reading the agenda.
Preparation doesn’t guarantee success. But lack of preparation almost guarantees disappointment. The most confident people I’ve met aren’t necessarily the smartest. They’re simply the most prepared.
- Listen to Your Family
Professionally, we often celebrate independence. Personally, we need wise counsel. Some of the best career advice I’ve ever received didn’t come from consultants. It came from family members who knew me well enough to tell me what I needed to hear—not simply what I wanted to hear.
Sometimes the people closest to us see our future more clearly than we do.
- Never Forget to Have Fun
Professionally, we often postpone happiness.
“I’ll relax after this project.”
“I’ll travel after retirement.”
“I’ll spend more time with family next year.”
The calendar keeps moving. The opportunities don’t always wait. Resilient people don’t simply work hard. They recover well. And letting our hair down and having fun is something everyone needs in their lives.
- Pursue the Good Stuff Every Day
We can’t pretend that life isn’t hard. There will be challenges. But we need to find something worth smiling about anyway.
The “good stuff” doesn’t have to be extraordinary. Most often, it isn’t. It’s ordinary moments appreciated by extraordinary people. Appreciation allows to pursue the “good stuff” that is always there. We just have to develop the mindset and awareness to look for it.
The Answers Have Been Around Us All Along
And there you have it. A life well-lived and a memorial that provides all of us with a blueprint for an extraordinary life. And here’s what struck me most as I left the church.
We spend enormous amounts of time searching for answers. How do I become successful? How do I build resilience? How do I lead? How do I raise a family? How do I live a meaningful life?
Too often, we instinctively reach for Google. We ask ChatGPT. We scroll social media. We consume podcasts, YouTube videos, newsletters, and endless opinions from people we’ve never met.
There’s nothing wrong with learning. And these tools can be helpful. But sometimes we overlook the best teachers because they’re sitting right beside us.
A parent who never complained. A coach who believed in us. A teacher who expected more. A coworker who always did the right thing. A neighbor who showed up every time someone needed help. A friend whose life speaks louder than their words.
The greatest instruction manual for living isn’t always found on a screen. Sometimes it’s found in the example of an ordinary person who lived an extraordinary life.
Dr. Francis Bergin left behind far more than accomplishments. He left behind a blueprint built on humility, courage, preparation, family, joy, and gratitude. What a remarkable gift!
Resilience isn’t always about finding new answers. Sometimes it’s about noticing the remarkable people who have been selflessly providing us with an example of excellence. Thank you, Dr. Bergin, for reminding us that the answers we’ve been searching for have been surrounding us all along.