In 2004, my friend Steve Gwozdz got married in a beautiful outdoor ceremony overlooking the Santa Lucia Mountain Range in Carmel Valley, California. The view was spectacular, the crowd was raucous and the moment was unforgettable. It would have been a shame if I hadn’t lived to witness this glorious event!
The day before, my wife and I settled into our idyllic cottage in the Carmel Valley foothills and prepared for a great weekend. An avid runner, I couldn’t wait to get out on the trails and shake the stress of the East Coast hustle into the crisp California air. Before proceeding into the park, I stopped by the front desk to inquire about the nearby trails.
The 20-something ex-surfer dude at the desk was right out of central casting from Fast Times at Ridgemont High. He me pointed in the right direction and offered me some helpful advice.
“The views out there are life-changing. Soak it in, brah!”
Brah? I’ll let that one slide since we are in Cali.
I bolted out the door, turned right down the first path and headed toward the overlook of the Pacific Ocean. I was gaining clarity and gaining speed when I suddenly turned a sharp corner and froze in my tracks. Just to my left was a SIZABLE California mountain lion!
It was a terrifying moment and provided the ultimate “fight or flight” case study. Since I didn’t have razor sharp claws and menacing fangs, I really didn’t think fight was the best option. So I immediately flew.
I catapulted into a dead sprint for 300 yards, half (or maybe 3-quarters) expecting the mountain lion to pounce from behind. I quickly glanced over my shoulder and the lion was still sedentary, his tail twitching impatiently back and forth. I was safe.
I sprinted back to the hotel and burst through the lobby doors. Spicoli was still behind the desk.
“I almost got attacked by a mountain lion out there!”
He just smiled and handed me a brochure.
“Oh yeah, brah. We see them all the time out here. I probably should have given you this earlier.”
I opened the pamphlet and in bold letters it offered instruction on what to if you came face-to-face with a California Mountain Lion:
- Make yourself as large as possible, putting your hands in the air.
- Yell as loud as possible in the direction of the cat.
- Hold your ground until the cat backs away.
Hmmmm. Then the kicker. On the back of the handout was an asterisk with the following warning in all capital letters:
*DO NOT TURN AND RUN AWAY FROM THE CAT. IT WILL CHASE.
Well, that might have been helpful advice BEFORE I went on my run.
Spicoli had let me down. I had to rely on instinct and operate without a roadmap or a specific set of instructions. I made the completely “wrong” decision, but I made it quickly and decisively. And that was far better than freezing like a deer in the headlights.
Action beats inaction every time.
We Have to Make Our Own Decisions
In our personal and professional lives, we don’t always have people showing us the “right” thing to do. Not every job comes with an instruction manual. Not every social situation comes with an answer key. There are so many decisions we have to make in the moment. There are so many times we have to rely on our instincts.
How do we treat an irate customer? How do we address new competition in the marketplace? How do we calm a disgruntled employee? How do we handle a talented player with an attitude problem? How do we prioritize our finances? How do we reign in a wayward teen? How do we properly express our love?
We can observe those who have gone before us. We can seek advice and counsel. We can develop a solid stable of mentors. But at some point, we are going to have to make our own decisions. Ultimately, we are going to have to face that “flight or fight” moment. How can we be sure our decisions will be correct?
Resilience is About Action
The reality is we will make mistakes. Our instincts will let us down. We won’t always have the “right” answers. But we can’t lament our lack of instruction. We can’t blame someone else for abandoning us in our time of need. We can’t sit around and wait for a savior.
We need to act. And a “wrong” move made decisively and with good intention beats paralysis every time. Even if our instincts fail us, we can learn from our mistakes. We can calibrate the outcomes and use it as a hard lesson to fuel our next decision. Resilience is all about action. It is about learning from the past and moving forward. Confident action, even when we are “wrong”, will fuel our next resilient journey. As long as we keep acting with strong moral conviction, eventually we will get it right!
The Mountain Lions in Our Lives
I went out into the wild without a roadmap or proper instruction. That was on me. But I made a quick decision, kept moving forward, and eventually survived to view a beautiful wedding in the California sun.
Life will not always be easy. At some point, we will have to tangle with a mountain lion. We can’t rely on others to fight our fight. We can’t curl into a ball and pray it will go away. If we want to stay resilient, we have to move forward and trust our instincts. Even when those instincts let us down, action beats inaction every time.
Know what I’m sayin’, brah?
Uhhhhh…COLESLAW!
No hesitation. I quickly and decisively drove into the orange cones!