Do you cherish the ones you save or stress about the ones that get away?
Ever since my children were little, I have wanted to install a sport court in our backyard. And for a confluence of reasons over the years, my “mini-dream” took a backseat to financial reality. But just recently, a friend of mine, with his kids now grown, no longer needed the flooring of his own backyard oasis. Grateful! It was the perfect opportunity to tackle a pandemic project and make my dream a reality.
We loaded up the court pieces in a couple of pickup trucks and transported them over to my backyard for installation. After erecting the hoop, and figuring out the jigsaw puzzle of the court, it was time to focus on the major issue at hand. There is nothing worse than shooting hoops, missing, and having to do a long walk of shame to retrieve the errant basketball. And my backyard sloped away from the basket, so this issue was decidedly exacerbated.
To combat this problem, we installed netting behind the hoop and create a “bumper” on the baseline to keep the basketballs on the court. Problem solved! But, like most grand plans, it was not foolproof. Long bounces and short misses would still occasionally roll all the way to the fence. The humanity!
In a recent game of “horse” with my daughter, it seemed half the shots rolled over the bumper. As I was lamenting the misfortune, my daughter offered some existential wisdom.
“Dad, you never celebrate the shots that stay on the court. You only complain about the ones that get away.”
Hmmm. So true. I had it all wrong. Without the netting and bumper, 100 percent of the shots would roll to the fence. Every shot that stayed on the court was a cause for celebration. Why obsess about the ones that roll away?
And the same is true in our personal and professional lives.
We Can’t Focus on the Negative
We all work hard to set up our nets and bumpers in life. We nurture our clients and thoughtfully build our business. We rehearse and practice our routines. We anticipate market trends and study the competition. We invest in relationships and try to protect our children and loved ones. But we can’t save every basketball.
We lose deals. Lose market share. Lose games. Miss shots. Let in goals. Get blindsided. And get our hearts broken. These losses are painful and stick with us. We can’t and shouldn’t just wipe them away. There are many valuable lessons to mine in the carnage. But we can’t obsess over the negative. We can’t spend our lives focused on the losses.
We Have Accomplished So Much
Resilence requires a slight shift in mindset. During times of stress and loss, we need to focus on what we are doing right. Our hard work is not in vain. We have clients who appreciate our care. We have experienced glorious wins, made shots, and saved goals. We have beaten the competition and made lasting, meaningful relationships. Our loved ones know how much we care. We have kept so many basketballs on the court.
We don’t want to live in the past and only celebrate the goals we have already accomplished. But we can’t take these wins for granted. Focusing on the incredible blessings we have achieved and already have in our lives creates a whole new outlook. It allows us to appreciate our future wins even more. And it gives us incredible gratitude in the present.
We Need to Keep Shooting
We need to keep working. We need to keep as many basketballs on the court as possible. It is okay to grow frustrated and annoyed when the ball rolls to the fence. We can always upgrade our systems or tweak our game plan. Continuous improvement is the name of the game.
But we also need to step back and appreciate everything that we have accomplished. For the most part, we have built a good life. We have put in the effort. We have been intentional about our goals. We have kept most of the basketballs on the court. And we will keep on shooting!
None of us are perfect. But we can’t stress about the ones that get away. We have to cherish the ones we save.