I have taken my kids down to the National Mall on President’s Day ever since they could walk.  It is a glorious tradition that normally includes stops at the Jefferson Memorial, Washington Monument, and Lincoln Memorial.  It’s all about honoring our Presidents!  This year, we were missing two of my four kids, but we pressed on and continued the tradition.

Of all the monuments, my favorite is the Lincoln Memorial.  Majestic.  Awe-Inspiring.  Dramatic.  The classic Greek revival architecture boldly and justly captures the magnificence of the man who saved the Union.  Just below the statue, there is a museum that provides the history of both Lincoln and the building of the memorial.  This year, for the first time, I noticed a brilliant inscription:

Though passion may have strained, it must not break our bonds of affection.  This is our Union.  We will be touched by the better angels of our nature. –President Abraham Lincoln

President Lincoln would do anything to save the Union.  That was his mission.  His sole focus.  And he knew that the bad feelings and strife which caused a massive divide in our country would have to be repaired.  The country was too important and he would not fail.  President Lincoln was convinced reasonable citizens would be “touched by the better angels of our nature”.

And that is a great mindset to adopt in our work and personal lives.

We Have to Calmy Step Back From the Strife

In our work lives, there is strife and chaos all around us.   Old rivalries among colleagues.  Fierce competition in the marketplace.  New management pressures and expectations.  Fractured relationships within teams.  Growing discord with compensation plans and benefits.  With so much turmoil, it is easy to focus on ourselves.  It is easy to abandon ship or harden our shell and act like a victim.

But someone has to step back and calmly assess the situation.  Organizations are made up of individuals, and sometimes passion and ignorance can cloud the landscape.  But we must fight the temptation to believe the situation is intractable.  Things can get heated.  Feelings can get hurt.  But we can’t abdicate from the Union at the first sign of stress.  Oftentimes, these rocky patches are temporary.  And the better nature of our angels will win out in the end!

The Chaos is Temporary

The same is true in our personal lives.  Anger and bitterness between spouses.  Resentment among siblings.  Parent-child strife and discord.  Jealousy in friendships and relationships.  There is no doubt that passion can cut both ways in any family and friend dynamic.  Bad blood can run deep.  These are not trivial matters.

But couldn’t this be the product of temporarily aggravated emotions?  The longer we let them stew, the wider the divide in the relationship.  And the harder it is to repair the damage.  Someone has to take the Lincoln approach. Someone has to believe in the Union at all costs.  Someone has to repair the bonds of affection and keep the faith!

Rise Above the Madness

We don’t want to bury our heads in the sand.  There are real problems within companies.  There are real issues within families and relationships.  We can’t always control the outcomes.  Sometimes, the pressure and the strain can be too much.  Sometimes, it is healthy for both parties to walk away and start fresh.

But not before a passionate plea to save the Union.  We need to maximize our earnings and provide for our family.  Isn’t that worth fighting for?  And is there anything more sacred than family?  That is the ultimate Union!  Isn’t that worth preserving at all costs?

It doesn’t just happen.  It will require incredible internal strength.   It will require us to set our egos aside.  It will require a healthy perspective and a lot of patience.  But it will be worth it.  A house divided against itself cannot stand.  Someone has to rise above the madness.

Save the Union!

And each time we battle through these difficult moments, we increase our capacity to love.  We boost our ability to persevere.  We strengthen our resilience.

Resilience is not just about “toughing it out”.  Sometimes, resilience is about compromise, perspective and stepping away.  Sometimes, resilience is about letting the better nature of our angels guide our actions.

President Lincoln deserves his glorious memorial.  Somebody had to save the Union!