We have all been scared by someone or something at some point in our life. Sharks. Clowns. Spiders. Vampires. Gary Busey. We could spend all day exploring your own personal list. Fear is a powerful human emotion and can paralyze even the most stouthearted person. There is no shame in experiencing this phenomenon as there is no shortage of terrifying experiences in this world. Generally, this type of fear is temporary and subsides once the initial adrenaline rush wears off. But fear of failure is an entirely different matter. This type of fear can cause a permanent paralysis in our psyche and derail us from becoming the person we were destined to be. If we want to lead a resilient life, we must overcome this basic fear of failure.
In sports, playing with confidence is playing to win. But lack of confidence can trump athletic prowess. The running back who is afraid of getting hurt will tiptoe toward the line and go down easily. The baseball player who is afraid to swing the bat usually strikes out. In business, fear of failure leads to inaction which can doom even the most talented executive. Once a manager stops taking risks or refuses to take a position altogether, success becomes a pipe dream. This paralysis ensures he or she will never emerge from the pack and reach his or her personal and financial potential. In your relationships, this fear of failure can stifle communication or even prevent a relationship from ever taking place. Expressing your emotions or taking a risk on asking someone out comes with an unbearable downside if you are afraid to fail. And this fear often leads to a lonely life devoid of emotion. In almost all cases, the refusal to take action due to fear of failure is a self-fulfilling prophesy. We simply cannot achieve happiness without expressing confidence and attacking our fears through action.
If the running back slams into the pile with confidence, he may get hurt. But he is much more likely to inflict the pain and move the ball forward with success. If the baseball player swings, he may strike out. But he can never hit a home run with the bat resting on his shoulder. The enterprising business executive may take a major revenue hit by exploring a tangential market opportunity that does not pan out. But “staying the course” has no chance of achieving either personal or business growth. Saying “I love you” and hearing crickets on the other side can be devastating. But better to get your heart stomped on than to have it slowly wither away! Even the most confident person has their moments of self-doubt. It is a natural part of the human experience. But we can build our confidence by actively taking steps to move our lives forward. Even if it does not work out, we have proven that fear will never paralyze our actions or stifle our emotions. And that comforting thought will help us further build on this confidence and keep moving forward until we achieve personal success.
Courage is being scared to death…and saddling up anyway. –John Wayne
We will all fail. We will all suffer some sort of loss. But if we suffer that loss at full speed, we have nothing to fear. If we fail giving every ounce of effort we have, we have nothing to fear. Your life will not be defined by winning or losing or the number of great moments versus the number of dark moments. So much in life is out of your control. But you can control your effort. You can control your attitude. And you can control your reaction to adversity. Ultimately, you will be defined by your ability to overcome the difficult moments and actively move forward toward a positive outlook on life. That is resilience!
Saddle up! Stay resilient! Go all out and fear nothing! In the end, the only failure in life is the failure to overcome your fear of failure. Playing scared in not an option!
Until next week, keep smiling!
Rob: Another inspiring post. Right on target. FDR’s great line in his first inaugural comes to mind, “The only thing we have to fear, is fear itself.” Also, the message about “taking no action” is very timely in the events taking place in the world today with radical Islam. Great leaders lead and take action. John
Amen. Thanks, John.
Good one Rob. Reminds me of one of my favorite TR quotes and team slogan for Good Counsel swimming “Daring Greatly”:
It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood. The man who strives valiantly; who errs and comes up short again and again. The man who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause. The man who at the best knows the triumph of high achievement, and who, at his worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his soul shall never be with those timid cowards who neither know victory nor defeat.
Love that poem, Tim! And thanks for the inspiration to one of my future blogs. You should write one of these things!
Robert as usual you have honed into one of the great philosophy’s in our lives; Failure and Fear of failure. Fear is very crippling and acknowledging this starts the process of challenging and moving foward. So proud of your remarkable insight. Xo Catherine
Thx, Kitty! Agree, acknowledging is half the battle and allows us to move forward with confidence!