Imperfection

I was on the receiving end of a very flattering comment regarding my blog last week.  This person believed in my message and wondered how I was able to remain so positive and optimistic in the face of all the chaos and cynicism in this world.  While I truly appreciated the kind words, I couldn’t help but think that somehow I was a fraud!  I am generally a positive person, but I certainly don’t have all the answers and I’m trying to figure things out just like everybody else.  Just to level set, I have, at times, been guilty of the following:

  • I have been pessimistic about an outcome.
  • I have doubted myself.
  • I have given up hope.
  • I have knowingly stayed in my comfort zone.
  • I have taken the small things in my life for granted.
  • Despite what my mom taught me, I have put the carton of milk back with only a sip left in the container (Sorry, mom!).

The fact is that we all face difficult moments and we all lose faith at some point in our journey.  Enduring a major or minor crisis, whether it is the loss of a loved one, the loss of a job, or the loss of your confidence, can cause even the most optimistic person to question their place in life.  But despite how it may look on the outside, nobody has all the answers and nobody is perfect in the face of adversity.    Do not compare yourself with someone who seems to have life figured out.  They are likely going through a similar struggle, but just doing a better job of masking it.  The calmest ducks are paddling like crazy beneath the surface.  And do not associate any feelings of negativity or inadequacy with lack of success.   In fact, it has been well-documented that the most successful people actually have more angst and self-doubt about their accomplishments since they are constantly comparing themselves to other successful people.  We all have our negative moments, and the sooner you realize that you are not alone in your struggle, the more easily you can move on and regain the confidence needed to carve out a positive life.

We are often our own worst critics as we seek perfection in our work and personal lives.  Cliché alert: No one is perfect!  In fact, perfection should not even be the goal.   [“Perfect” should only be reserved for crimes, alibis, and bowling scores]  It is actually those imperfections that shape our character, make us unique, and, quite frankly,  make us more interesting!

Life is not about eliminating the imperfections.  Everyone has battles and everyone has flaws.  Life is about accepting those flaws and turning them into motivation. —Elli Thatcher

While perfection is not a realistic goal, we can all work harder to recognize and improve on our shortcomings.  As mentioned, I have thought or done all of the above, but the reality is, most of the time, I think and do the opposite of everything on that list.  (Except for the milk part….I’m working on it!).  The goal is to stay positive, stay motivated and maintain a healthy perspective as much as you possibly can.  I realize this is vague, but success has to be measured by the individual.  As long as you are consciously making the effort to improve yourself, you are taking a step in the right direction.  We all want the best for ourselves and for our families.  But oftentimes, we struggle with confidence, motivation and feelings of inadequacy which throw up roadblocks to our happiness and success.   This internal struggle is natural and you are not alone!  But you cannot curl up into a ball and wave the white flag.   Stay positive!  Stay motivated!  Believe in yourself!  And, while you’re at it, finish off that last sip and replace the milk carton in the refrigerator. Mom would be proud!

Until next week, keep smiling!