You ain’t nothin’ but a hound dog, cryin’ all the time! –Elvis

One day last week, I took Parker, our family Golden Retriever, out for a walk on the circle in front of our house.  He was loving the great outdoors and as calm and happy as ever.  As is often the case, a neighbor came out to say hello and we struck up a pleasant conversation.  A Norman Rockwell moment.

But suddenly, madness descended upon the scene.  Parker reared up on his hind legs and let out a ferocious yawp.  He pulled violently on his leash and continued his maniacal barking meltdown.  A large deer had made the mistake of coming out to feed in the circle, and Parker was having none of it.

The deer quickly scampered off into the woods and I finally calmed Parker down.  It was back to that Norman Rockwell scene.

“I’ve never heard him bark before,” my neighbor casually commented.

I hadn’t really thought about it, but it was generally true.  Parker was not a barker.

My neighbor continued.  “You know, I really like that.  He only barks when he means it.”

There was something poetic about his observation. And it got me thinking.   That it is a great trait for a dog.  And it is an even better trait for the rest of us.

Not Everything Deserves a Bark

In our work lives, we can’t spend our careers constantly barking.  As managers,  there are times when we have to shake the trees and get our point across.  But more time needs to be spent listening, breaking down internal barriers, and asking questions.  As salespeople, sometimes we need to pound our fists internally to get a deal done.  But not every sale requires massive resources and drama.  Sometimes, we can quietly amaze the customer.  As coaches and teachers, we need to emphasize certain points and techniques.  But not every lesson requires a “Knute Rockne” speech.

There is a lot of noise in the workplace.  We all scramble for recognition.  We sometimes think our agenda is the only agenda.  But if we constantly yell and call for attention, how will our team members know when they really have to focus?  How will our co-workers know when they really have to prioritize?  How will our players and students know which lessons are truly important?  Constant barking quickly becomes background noise.  It loses all effectiveness and utility.  We only need to bark when we really mean it!

Not All Setbacks Are Devastating

The same is true in our personal lives.  There are difficult moments when we need to circle the wagons.  There are times when we need our inner circle to sustain us.  A damaged relationship.  A broken heart.  A financial crisis. A loss in faith.  There is real suffering and pain.

But we can’t overreact every time we face adversity.  Not every slight against us is a conspiracy.  Not every bump in the road is a crisis.  Not every lost opportunity is a tragedy.  Not every setback requires a DEFCON 1 response!  We can’t bark every time things don’t go our way.  We should only bark when we truly mean it!

Resilience Does Not Discriminate

There is a spectrum of setbacks we face on a daily basis, ranging from the annoying to the devastating.  Resilience does not discriminate.   Each setback requires intense passion, a healthy perspective and true appreciation for us to move forward.  We need to do whatever it takes to come back stronger than ever.  But we don’t always need to raise the alarms.  We don’t always need to be dramatic.

Quiet resilience and perseverance can be just as effective.  We need to save our energy. And reserve the loud barking for the times when we really need it.

We Need to Prioritize

My dog is not perfect.  He gets into the trash.  Jumps up on the counter.  Chews and destroys shoes, hats, and (occasionally) sunglasses.  But he is a good dog.  And when he barks, I know there is something wrong.  Something that requires my help and attention.

And that is a good benchmark for the rest of us.  And something to think about on our never-ending journey to resilience.  Only bark when you mean it!