The annual Georgetown Prep vs. Gonzaga football game has a storied history in the Washington, DC area. Every year, thousands of fans, of all ages, gather to cheer on two of the oldest Jesuit high schools in the country. The atmosphere is electric, the tradition is thick, and the game never disappoints. This year was no exception.
Under an impossibly blue sky, the two teams squared off, each with high hopes of bringing home another huge victory. This year, Gonzaga entered the contest as the overwhelming favorite, touting a Top 10 National Ranking and a team laden with talent. Most of the local press was predicting a lopsided victory and some speculated that Georgetown Prep might not cross the 50-yard line.
But as the game got underway, something magical happened. The Georgetown Prep offense moved the ball. And the defense came up with play after play. In a story as impossible as the blue sky, the first half ended with Georgetown Prep ahead 7-3!
It was a remarkable development. At halftime, the players and coaches brimmed with confidence and enthusiasm. The fans of both teams walked around delirious, each side shocked, in different ways, by the results. What, exactly, was going on here?
As the second half unfolded, Gonzaga was able to right the ship and their size and speed were too much for the undersized Georgetown Prep squad. Gonzaga ultimately emerged with the expected victory.
But the whole day begged some existential questions. Does the destination define the journey? Does the end result erase either the joy or pain during the course of the battle? Is life a zero-sum game?
The Final Result is Only Part of the Equation
In our work lives, we are often defined by our wins and losses. Results matter, and they should matter. We are getting paid and/or expected to add value or revenue to the team and organization. But we have to realize that every sale, every presentation, every opportunity to perform or interact with our team is a journey. If we lose a sale, lose a client, lose a game, lose a job, does that mean the journey was a waste of time? That we learned nothing? That our interactions never mattered?
Many years ago, I had a major opportunity to work with Yelp on a new client initiative. I traveled to San Francisco, toiled in the trenches with the team, and spent countless hours prepping for the big pitch. A few days after the pitch, I received word from Yelp that they had chosen someone else. Ouch! But when I sent the internal note to let our team know we had lost, I got a surprising response from one team member:
“I do not consider this a loss. Without this experience, I would have never had the opportunity to meet you or your team and I am a better person for it. I believe that interaction will lead to more wins in the long run!”
Amen. Now that is healthy perspective. The eventual result (a loss), while painful, did not erase the positive aspects of the journey.
And the same is true in our personal lives. A marriage or relationship may end in turmoil. An investment may end in financial distress. A season may end with an injury. But those endings are not the only results of the experience. There are always some enjoyable moments in any relationship. There are always some gains even if profits disappear in the end. There are always some great moments or plays even if our careers end on the bench or in the doctor’s office. The final result is only one facet of the experience!
Resilience is Born From Struggle
I am not suggesting we celebrate our losses or glorify our “moral victories”. Nor am I suggesting there is some noble honor that sprouts from every failure. If we lose every game, or go through multiple divorces, bankruptcies, and job firings, we will have little to celebrate. But our negative experiences should not just be locked in a box and thrown into the ocean. We need to extract the good stuff first.
Even in our most devastating failures, there are experiences that can add value and meaning to our lives. There are moments we can harness to strive for a better result in our next relationship, our next job, our next client, our next game, our next opportunity. In those moments are the building blocks of our resilience. In those moments are the opportunities to grow. If we erase the whole experience, we are leaving too many valuable pieces on the cutting room floor.
Winning is a Process
The Georgetown Prep football team ultimately lost a game to a better opponent. But does that erase the incredible feeling of pride and confidence at halftime? Does that mean they can’t learn and grow from the experience?
We all want to win. And we should never apologize for that. But winning is a process. And the seeds of victory can often be found in our most difficult moments. Our failures are never a total loss. Life is not a zero-sum game.