I recently attended the funeral of my good friend’s mother, and it was the perfect memorial service.  The entire dedication was organized and heartfelt, honoring their loved one with such grace and sincerity. From the opening prayer to the eulogy, a fitting tribute.   Send me out that way!

During one point in the remembrance, the eulogist commented that the family had agonized over which picture of their mother to include in the funeral program.  There were some from high school.  Some from college.  Some of her as a newlywed.  Some of her as a new mother.  All beautiful and happy memories.  But they wanted the one picture that captured her essence on this earth.  And they chose wisely.  A picture taken in her 60s after her grandchildren had been born.

And while it was a great picture, it also raised some interesting questions.  What stage of life are we currently in?  Is this as good as it gets?  Has the picture for our own funeral program already been taken? 

Perspective is Our Friend

Too often, we get caught up in the downward pull of the present moment and lose perspective.  The entrepreneur whose business is on the brink of collapse.  The salesperson who botches their landmark deal.  The employee who ends up in a dead end job. The athlete who folds in a pressure moment.  We can’t see beyond these low points.  We can’t imagine that things will ever get better.

And this myopic view can seep into our personal lives as well.  We experience a strained relationship.  We drift apart from our significant other.  Our children seem to be slipping away from us.  We let down a friend in need.  It seems these will be our defining moments.  It seems things can only get worse from here.

But perspective is a critical ally.  It is important to realize that these are only fixed points on an unknown journey.  Not a steady decline toward the abyss.  Our first company doesn’t always succeed (See Elon Musk, Harland Sanders, and countless others).  Our sales pipeline will contract and expand in cycles.  Dead end jobs don’t last forever–we have never had more flexibility to change careers!  We need to have short memories because the next opportunity is still out there for us.

By the same token, relationships fracture, but they also mend.  We experience difficult interpersonal moments but also long stretches of harmony.  Our children go through phases of physical and mental distance but always come back to us.  We have to step back in the moment   We don’t have the luxury of waiting 25 years to stop sulking about the past.  We need to move forward toward something now. Keep the funeral program in mind. Perspective in the present is the key to resilience!

The Best is Yet to Come

Even if things are going well in our lives, we still have so many glorious chapters ahead of us.  There are new goals and new dreams and new relationships.  Perhaps we haven’t yet met our significant other. Or our children. Or our grandchildren.  Who knows which phase of life will be the “best”?  Maybe the excitement and intrigue is behind us.  But maybe a new stage of maturity and stability will be just as exhilarating.

But what if we are in declining health?  What if we can’t get out as much as we used to?  What if we feel more inconsequential with each passing day?  As long as we are still alive, we have the opportunity to make our corner of the world just a little bit better.  We are quietly setting an example of persistence and resilience.  We are influencing the next generation with our grit and determination.  And our loved ones will honor our memory and pay it forward.

We are all at different points in our journey.  But we have to live our lives as if the picture for our own funeral program has not been taken.

Smile.  Say cheese.  The best is yet to come!