As the calendar flips to the cusp of August, and the scent of fresh-cut grass floats in the air, it can only mean one thing. Football season is upon us! And with that, my thoughts turn back to the glorious days of coaching youth football at Maplewood!
Slogging through long, hot days in stifling Washington, DC humidity doesn’t seem like an activity that should invoke innate nostalgia. But there was something about the commitment, the comradery, and the sacrifice that transcended the heat, and instilled life lessons and remarkable memories that still linger today.
One notable life lesson was delivered each year on the very first day of live contact for the boys. Our head coach, Brian Ridgway (who had studied under the tutelage of the godfather of youth football, Rooster Nalls) would gather the boys together and meet their gaze. Once all eyes were focused on him, he would patiently introduce the first hitting drill of the season. After explaining the basics, he would then pause and make sure the boys knew what was at stake.
“This will be a lot of fun, boys. But sometimes, you might come away feeling banged up. It might scare you at first. But you have to ask yourself one question.”
And with this, he would pause for effect.
“Are you hurt, or are you injured?”
The players would look at each other and then back to the coach.
“If you’re injured, you need to sit out the drill and we will take care of you. But if you’re hurt, we need you to honor your teammates and get right back in that drill. “
It was the first great lesson in football. There are different levels of pain and discomfort. If our health is at risk, we need to shut it down and seek treatment. But if the pain is temporary, or if we are just scared, we owe it to ourselves and our teammates to break through the pain and finish the job at hand.
And isn’t that true in our personal and professional lives as well?
Pain Provides Motivation
We face all types of pain and discomfort in our everyday lives. Perhaps we just started a new job and feel overwhelmed by the myriad details and foreign concepts. Perhaps we find ourselves in a new environment and we are not easily making friends. Perhaps we poured our heart and soul into a project and it turned into a dud. Perhaps we tried our hardest but got cut from the team of our dreams. We are not always going to escape life pain-free. But are we hurt or are we injured? We owe it to ourselves and our teammates to explore the question.
Most of the time, we are hurt. Starting a new job always produces anxiety, even for the most steadfast workers. But we need to ask questions, lean on our co-workers and seek the counsel and comfort of our loved ones to help break through the pain. Making new friends is never easy. We often feel insecure and on an island. But we have to recognize that most people feel the same way in new situations. Eventually, water finds its own level. Success may not come immediately on every project. But we can’t let early failure discourage us from pursuing our passion. We need to give ourselves more time. We may not always achieve our immediate goals and reach the echelons we feel we deserve. But shouldn’t that pain provide the motivation we need to work our way to the top?
We Have To Test Our Limits
But there are times when we are truly injured. It is counter-productive and even detrimental to try and just “power through” these moments. If the challenge is negatively impacting our physical health and our family life, we need to pivot and seek a change of scenery. If the challenge is wreaking havoc on our mental health or destroying our close relationships, we need to seek additional care. Sometimes, the toughest people recognize when to step back and sit out the drill.
So it begs the question: how do we know the difference? True injuries hurt. But so do stingers. The reality is that we have to test our limits. We can’t run for the sidelines at the first hint of discomfort. We can’t abandon our teammates and loved ones after an initial setback. We can’t give up on our dreams after hitting our first roadblock. The road to resilience is paved with pain. Most of the time this pain can fuel incredible accomplishments. Most of the time we need to get right back to the front of the line and lick our chops for the next drill!
We won’t always get it right. Sometimes, we will try to gut out a serious injury. Sometimes, we will give up when it is only a booboo! The important thing is to keep moving forward. And to keep asking the question. Are we hurt or are we injured?