I will always have incredible memories of New Smyrna Beach, Florida. For twelve years, my parents escaped the brutal winter months of New England and sought refuge down in the temperate climate of that oasis.  It is a laid-back town full of beautiful vistas and interesting characters.  It was the perfect cure for the January Blues of a Northeast winter.

A few years ago, while visiting paradise, I took an early morning jog on the beach to clear my head and breathe in some of that salt air goodness.  There was a stronger-than-normal ocean breeze that morning, and the waves piled up one after another, stretching almost to the horizon.  As I watched them relentlessly roll in, my mind wandered to other things in our lives that can crash in without respite or reprieve.  Debt. Grief. Regret.  So much for my peaceful morning run!

But then a powerful memory crashed back into my conscience.  Many years prior, I had attended Confession, and the priest described how all would be forgiven:

“God’s love acts like the waves of the ocean.  It just keeps rolling over us and never stops.”

And there you have it.  Just as there are negative events that overwhelm all of us, there are so many more positive events and love that are equally unstoppable.  We just have to search beyond our current circumstances to find goodness amidst the swirl of adversity.

Catch a Wave!

In difficult times, it seems like the bad news will never stop.  The bills keep rolling in the door.  The losses keep piling up.  The diagnosis keeps getting worse.  The anxiety reaches a fever pitch.  It feels like we keep finding a trap door to rock bottom.  But we must never feel alone in the rough surf.  The support and generosity of our inner circle are also overwhelming.  The forgiveness and love provided by those who care about us also wash over us like a powerful surge of warmth and passion.  The waves of hope will always overcome the waves of doubt.

In times of regret, it seems our lost opportunities will haunt us forever.  Those waves in the rearview mirror keep overtaking us and capsizing our dreams.  It feels as though we can never outrun them.  But it is time to look forward!  There is an endless cascade of waves on the horizon.  And they all contain opportunities for joy and fulfillment.  The waves in the rearview have already crashed.  But the waves on the horizon are just about to crest!  The past does not dictate our future!

But what if we suffer a permanent loss?   We may lose a loved one and the pain can be staggering.  Our sorrow can consume us and the waves of negative emotion can feel like tsunamis.  There are no words.  But the positive memories of our loved ones also roll through us with a calming force.  The endless support, concern, and strength provided by friends and family is equally relentless.  Appreciation eventually replaces the pain.  We feel blessed just to have been in the loving path of the wave, even for a short time.  And that is something that will be with us forever.

Perspective in the Key

Resilience is not about “standing tall” in the face of a crashing wave.  It’s not about testing how much punishment we can take.  We will all get knocked down.  The water will overwhelm us and throw us around like a rag doll.  Sometimes, we just have to roll with the tide. 

Can we find the promise in the pain?  Do we appreciate those people who will move mountains to throw us a lifeline?  Do we have the strength and perspective to see the positive waves of love and forgiveness?  Our resilience will be measured by our ability stretch our perspective beyond the current conditions.  It will not be easy.  But we have to rely on our faith to find hope amidst the chaos.

Resilience is Relentless

My run on the beach could have gone down a rabbit hole.  Negative thoughts can quickly cascade into a swirl of darkness,  But one positive memory changed my entire perspective.  And that is sometimes all we need to weather even the fiercest storms.

The sun is shining.  The temperature is perfect.  There is no end to the comfort.  There is no end to the forgiveness and support.  There is no end to the glorious possibilities right in front of us.   Soak it all in.  The breeze is kicking up relentless waves.  They will never stop.  And that is a good thing!