Where there is no struggle, there is no strength.  –Oprah Winfrey

I didn’t want to do it.  Yet I always wanted to do it. 

It was this paradoxical struggle that had me procrastinating on The Marine Corps Marathon for decades.  But an off-hand conversation with my niece, Taylor, at the beach FINALLY gave me the nudge I needed to commit. I wasn’t getting any younger, and the timing felt right.

I knew it was going to be a struggle.  I knew it was a daunting task.  I had no idea if I would be successful or fail, whether I would embrace the grind or throw in the towel.  I expected pain.  What I didn’t expect was the incredible amount of perspective this journey provided.  And, as I joyously crossed the finish line, how much it would change the trajectory of my life.

Every major accomplishment yields lessons of resilience.  Running a marathon yielded perhaps the greatest lessons of all.

Lesson 1: Dreams Provide Structure and Discipline

I started training for the marathon almost exactly four months ago today. And those four months corresponded with perhaps the most profound period of change in my life.  Over the course of training, I lost both of my parents. I changed jobs. I went on the wagon. I went OFF the wagon. And I took another trip around the sun. Life didn’t slow down to let me train—it threw everything at me.

But the objective and the dream remained consistent: run the marathon.

That singular focus became my rock. Amid grief, transition, and uncertainty, training gave me structure. It reminded me that even when everything else shifts, a clear dream can keep us grounded.

And that fact can help all of us in our everyday lives.  We cannot avoid change.  We cannot wish it away for another day. Change and transition are as much a part of life as breathing.  We have to cope.  We have to find a way to move forward and adapt.  A well thought out dream can provide a North Star.  It can provide hope.  It doesn’t have to be life-changing. We don’t have to measure our progress over night.  It may take days, weeks or even years.  But that dream can sustain us in turbulent times.  That dream, no matter how far-reaching or long-term, provides a rudder.  And it can give us purpose and consistency when everything else feels unknown and uncertain!

Lesson 2: Goals Change—and That’s Okay

When I started training for the marathon, my goal was simple: finish without stopping.

A few months in, things were going much better than expected.  I was running negative splits and improving more than I could have dreamed.  Of course I was going to finish!  I then made a (not recommended) goal of committing to a time rather than just breaking the tape at the finish line.  I set my sights on breaking four hours. But once again, my circumstances changed.  I sustained an injury.  I damaged my toes.  I couldn’t breakthrough at fifteen miles.  Boom!  I was back to just finishing.  Then I recovered and found strength during the last two weeks.  My goal then became simple: “Let’s beat Oprah’s time! ” (Spoiler: I did.)

The lesson? It’s okay to adjust our goals. Life throws curveballs. Feedback matters. Data matters. Your body matters. ..And sometimes, the revised goal is even more meaningful than the original.

We will have times when our career is soaring and our goals keep ratcheting up toward the sky.  Change is inevitable and it is okay to adjust based on the latest challenges.  There will be times when success looks so far out of reach and our goal is to survive the day.  But a breakthrough can change everything overnight.  It is okay to do MORE than survive…it is okay to THRIVE.  The mission isn’t about success or failure—it’s about adaptation.  It’s about constantly moving forward and setting challenging but achievable goals!

Lesson 3: Choose to Focus on the Positive

Like anything in life, we can choose to view any situation as positive or negative.  I wish my toes held up better.  I wish I hadn’t gotten injured in training.  I wish my my phone didn’t die at Mile 20 (The horror!). Not everything was perfect.  Or was it?  Looking back on it, there was not a single rainy day during four months of training.  The weather was picture perfect on race day.  And when my phone died, I heard my parents’ encouraging voices in my head for the final 6.2 miles.  That carried me further than any motivational playlist ever could! 

Upon reflection, it really was THE PERFECT  DAY!

In life, there will be bumps and detours and moments when it seems everything is going against us.  We can view these as permanent barriers.  We can act like a victim and become bitter.  But these may be blessings in disguise.  These often close one door but open another even more BEAUTIFUL door.  That’s the way life works.  Even in defeat, there are shared moments of bonding that only come from struggle toward a common cause.  Even in grief, there is joy in memories, in laughter with family, in the quiet strength of showing up each day.

Focusing on the positive is a choice, and it’s one we need to keep making in life. Because every mile, there are little miracles waiting to be noticed.

The Marine Corps Marathon didn’t just check a box—it cracked something open in me. It reminded me that resilience isn’t just about pushing through. It’s about adapting, choosing, and believing—even when the road gets hard.  And the same is true for all of us.

Life is a marathon.  And it is a race worth giving everything we have through the finish line!