Back in the day, there was a legendary maintenance man at our high school named Horst Heeg. Shoveling sidewalks. Fixing broken windows. Mending fences. Replacing lightbulbs. If something was broken, crooked, leaking, squeaking, or otherwise threatening the structural integrity of the school, Horst was the man for the job. (And, notably, his wife Ursula, made the BEST shepherd’s pie this side of the Atlantic. But I digress…)
Why is Horst important to this story? Well, really, he’s not. Only by association from a perpetually tardy classmate.
My classmate was not occasionally late to first period. Not once-a-month late. Just about EVERY morning late. And just about every morning, he arrived armed with a fresh excuse for our homeroom teacher.
“I ran out of gas on the way to school.”
“I had an early doctor’s appointment.”
“I stepped in a mud puddle and had to go home and change my shoes.”
The excuses became increasingly creative—and increasingly absurd. Our teacher had finally heard enough. She issued an ultimatum. The next time he was late, he would get detention for a MONTH. Yikes!
Well, as fate would have it, the VERY next morning the classroom door flew open three minutes after the bell. Our classmate burst into the room completely out of breath.
Our teacher just stared at him. She sighed. Half curious and half disgusted with what nonsense was about to come out of his mouth.
“It wasn’t my fault!” he protested.
Pause.
“I had to help Horst move a door!”
The room EXPLODED.
Of all the excuses he had manufactured, this was his masterpiece. Why would Horst need his help moving a door? Where were they moving it? Why at 8:00 in the morning? And how exactly had our classmate become Horst’s indispensable assistant?
Poor Horst had been unceremoniously thrust into the spotlight. Our teacher was having none of it.
She stared directly into his eyes and never removed her icy gaze.
“You can make excuses, or you can make progress. You can’t make both.”
Ouch. The point landed. And isn’t that spot on advice for our own work and personal lives?
Take Control
It’s easy to laugh at an excuse as ridiculous but much harder to recognize the excuses we manufacture in our work lives.
My territory isn’t good enough. The company doesn’t give me the resources I need. The economy is terrible. My coworkers aren’t pulling their weight. I just need a new job no matter what.
Of course, sometimes those things are true! There are bad bosses. There are dysfunctional companies. There are lousy territories and unfair circumstances. Sometimes changing jobs is absolutely the right move.
But if we change jobs three times and encounter the exact same problems each time, maybe it’s worth considering the one common denominator. Us.
Accountability requires the courage to look inward and ask difficult questions. What could I have done differently? Where did I fall short? What skills do I need to improve? How am I contributing to the problem?
We can blame the job and move on. Or we can learn, grow, and move forward.
Circumstances Don’t Define Us
But excuses aren’t confined to the workplace. We carry them right through the front door of our home.
If my parents had raised me differently, then I would be happier. If my kids weren’t so demanding, then I could get into shape. If my spouse were more supportive, then I would pursue my dream. If I had more money, then I would finally become the person I was meant to be.
But “then” is a dangerous place to live.
We cannot change our parents. We cannot control every decision our children make. We cannot mold our spouse or partner into the exact person we want them to be–trading one relationship for another without examining our own behavior often just gives us a new person to blame. And money should never dictate who we were meant to be!
Our circumstances absolutely influence our lives. But they do not have to define them.
Excuses Erode Resilience
There is an even bigger problem with constantly making excuses. Over time, they slowly erode our resilience. Every excuse transfers a little bit of control over our life to someone—or something—else. And if everyone else controls the outcome, why bother changing?
Resilience requires us to believe that no matter what happens around us, we still have some ability to influence what happens next. We can change our behavior. We change our habits. We can change our attitude. We can change our effort. We can change our response.
It may be uncomfortable. It may be cringeworthy. It may even force us to admit that the problem staring back at us in the mirror is…us.
But that is GREAT news! Because WE CAN CHANGE.
Take accountability. And let Horst handle the door on his own.