They are not going to GIVE you anything. You have to go out and TAKE it! –Coach Jim Fegan
My parents were blessed with remarkably good health, living on their own in a large farmhouse all the way into their nineties. But as Father Time went marching on, navigating the complexities of everyday life without assistance became increasingly difficult. Inevitably, they required additional care, and it has gotten to the point where skilled nursing seems the only viable option.
It was in one such facility that my mom noticed several older folks sitting around the central parlor. Some were blankly staring out the window. Others were aimlessly shuffling around the room. Still others were rocking back and forth without regard to their surroundings.
But one guy was alert, focused, and full of energy. He was engaged in an intense chess match (by himself–I like his chances!) and called over my mom when she entered. After a brief exchange of pleasantries, my mom asked him what it was like to live in the home. His answer was priceless.
“I like it here. I constantly stay active and set daily goals. But the rest of these folks are just sitting around waiting for The Grim Reaper to lower his scythe.”
A little harsh. A lot hilarious. And he made a great point. We have to be active in our lives. We have to live with purpose and conviction. We can’t just sit around and wait for The Grim Reaper to take us away!
Sedentary Doesn’t Spell Success
In our work lives, we have to actively advance the ball each day. We can’t stare at the phone and wait for it to ring. We can’t daydream about a better outcome without taking steps to improve our situation. We can’t complain about our work conditions and then remain passive. We can’t tick off off the calendar like a prison sentence and count the days until retirement.
Success and fulfillment rarely make house calls. If we want to advance our careers, we have to take control of our destiny. We need to set daily goals. We need to make the calls. We need to build relationships. There is a time and place to rest and recover. But that rest and recovery needs to be well-earned.
And the same is true in our personal lives. If our finances are slipping away, we need to find alternative ways to make money. If our relationships are strained, we need to actively communicate our issues. If we sense our children are struggling, we can’t be afraid to step in and have a tough conversation.
Our intuitions are usually correct. We have to trust our gut. But awareness is not enough. We need to take action. We need to get out in front of a small issue before it snowballs. There is no substitute for proactivity. Passive acceptance or outright denial will only hasten the arrival of the Grim Reaper!
Resilience is Not a Zero-Sum Game
Action and hustle don’t always translate to success. Sometimes, we get out in front of a problem and still get steamrolled. Sometimes, we take the initiative and still lose a client. Sometimes, we communicate our concerns and still lose a relationship. Sometimes, we simply can’t prevent a challenging situation from getting the best of us.
Sometimes, The Grim Reaper doesn’t care about our positive attitude and effort.
But resilience is born from the very act of struggling and exerting effort. Even if we ultimately fail, at least we have exhausted every option. At least we have taken control of our own fate. At least we have gone down swinging! And that will give us the courage and confidence to keep fighting until we get it right.
Resilience is not a zero-sum game. Even if we do not win, a little bit of good comes out of every battle. Like a muscle, resilience builds with every challenge we take on. And if we keep active and positive, we will eventually win.
Keep Fighting
Let’s face it, The Grim Reaper is eventually coming for all of us. But we don’t have to make it easy! If we stay in our rocking chairs and stare out the window, we know how the story will end. We can’t just sit around and wait for it. We need to stay positive, stay active and stay resilient! We need to keep fighting even in the face of certain defeat.
We are too valuable to just let life passively wash over us. We need to outrun that Grim Reaper for as long as possible.