graduation

It’s high school graduation week across America!  And what an incredible time to recognize our graduates as they catapult toward adulthood.  There are countless parties, meaningful family gatherings, and heart-felt emotion to mark the glorious occasion.  Why do we honor these graduates with so much fanfare?  Because they deserve it!  They have persevered through difficult times and countless challenges only to stare down defeat and stand victoriously on the other side.  There were awkward moments when friendships were tested.  There were bad decisions that had  consequences.  There were periods of incredible doubt.  There were times when transferring seemed like the best option.  It was not an easy journey for them.  It was not an easy journey for their parents.  But the graduates learned from their mistakes, pushed through the difficult times and ultimately believed in their own ability to make it happen.  And they stuck together as a family in the process.  Now that is resilience!  And shouldn’t we all take that same approach in our adult lives?

In our work lives, how many of us have the wherewithal to overcome the countless obstacles that lay in our path?   We all face challenges and struggles.  We all have moments of doubt and despair.  At some point, we all contemplate throwing in the towel and quitting altogether.  If things truly are miserable and your job is impacting your family life or health, perhaps walking away is the right move (See blog post: http://www.resilientworker.net/quitting-and-walking-away-might-be-the-best-option/ ).  But if we are to experience true greatness, we can’t “transfer” every time we face a difficult moment.  The grass can always look greener in times of tumultuous change.  Lost a big sale?  Instead of switching jobs and running from your problems, double down on your efforts and build a new pipeline.  Grappling with a particularly challenging client?  You are not alone.  But at least it is the devil you know (and it may not get better someplace else).  Frustrated with a new administration or leadership change in the front office?  Give it some time before you rush to update your resume´.  We all have options and we all deserve to explore those avenues to achieve the best life possible.  But we must be careful not to flee after the first wall we hit.  We can never reach our true potential unless we commit to reaching beyond our limits. Staring down challenges builds confidence!  Perseverance births success!  Struggle breeds strength!  It’s not supposed to be easy.  It’s not supposed to go smoothly.  And if we constantly “transfer” after every mistake or roadblock, we can never “graduate” to greatness.

Transformation is a process.  As life happens, there are moments spent in deep valleys and moments spent on mountaintops. How we handle the valleys determines how high we can climb the mountain. —Rick Warren

The same is true in our personal lives.  Every friendship faces challenges. There will be times when you are offended and times when you are hurt.  It can be tempting to cut off ties entirely and start with someone new.  But if you walk away from every relationship after a bump in the road, you will lead a lonely life.  And you will need those old friends in both the good times and (especially) the bad times!  Every marriage faces a test.  There will be times of doubt and major differences in philosophy.  How much are you willing to sacrifice to make it work?  When is enough enough?  But if you are able to fight through those differences, find common ground, and maintain respect, you will find a bond that will last forever.  The closest friendships and the most intimate relationships are borne from struggle. And it is in that struggle that you find the power to move forward together.  It is persevering through those tumultuous times that builds your character.  It is the ability to remain loyal and defend that relationship that delivers true joy.  We cannot constantly “transfer”  from friend to friend and relationship to relationship.  The ability to “graduate” and achieve lasting and meaningful relationships will be your greatest accomplishment of all!

So let us celebrate our high school graduates this week.  They have provided a roadmap for the rest of us to live our lives.  Learn from your mistakes!  Fight through those moments of doubt!   Never give up on your goals and your dreams!  Believe in your own ability to make it happen!  Learn to forgive and find common ground in your relationships!  And once you reach the top of the mountain, celebrate with your close friends and family who helped get you there.

Until next week, keep smiling!